


Not My Nature

by ArchedEyebrows



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi is a Todoroki, Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Ghoul Cannibalism (Tokyo Ghoul), Inspired by Tokyo Ghoul, Midoriya Izuku Has a Quirk, Multi, Protective Dabi (My Hero Academia), Psychological Torture, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto Has a Crush, Villain Midoriya Izuku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchedEyebrows/pseuds/ArchedEyebrows
Summary: The day Midoriya lost his newfound quirk.The day he became a ghoul. A monster.That was the day All Might retired to his grave.80% of the population have quirks, varying superhuman powers, while the other 20% is left unworthy of these supernatural gifts.Amongst the disgruntled quirkless population, a new infestation of the superhuman race was born: ghouls.With no Symbol of Peace, society descends into disarray.A hero lost to death. Another, to a life of flesh and blood.Midoriya is held in a cell, used for Shigaraki's experimentation.Izuku faces relentless torture, and is forced to endure his ghoulish ways. When he escapes, Midoriya discovers he will never be the same again.The descent into hell is easy, and for Midoriya, he may have no other option.Note:Warning: Mentions of self harm, suicide.Title is a lyric from "Unravel", opening of Tokyo Ghoul.
Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Asui Tsuyu & Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	1. I never liked the taste of blood until I realised how hungry I was

As an aspiring hero, Midoriya had pretty much accepted that he might die before he had a chance to grow old. Though to say the truth, he hadn't given it much food for thought.  
But there are ways of dying without ever being truly dead.  
And that is a fate worse than any other.

Seven days. Seven days Izuku had endured in his cell. Inscribing each day with a notch into the cold stone wall was the only thing preventing him from becoming truly insane.  
It was freezing cold, damp, and plagued with ants. The only light came from a miniscule window far above him. The only thing that reminded him that he was somewhat alive, and still attached to this Earth.

He didn't know what was happening to him. Why he seemed so much more comfortable in the dark. Why human flesh all of a sudden seemed so appetising.  
Why he couldn't, _couldn't_ die, no matter how much torture he was forced to endure.

It was as if he was slowly being turned to stone. Soon, he would be nothing but a heartless statue of what he once was. Under his breath he would say their names. All of them. Like a spell. Like a prayer to whatever god would listen.

All those he left behind. Those who he saved, those who he cared about, and who cared about him too.  
And of course, those he looked up to.

_All Might. All Might. I am here. Please. I need your help._

Izuku's stomach dropped, as the key turned in the lock. Bile rose in his throat.

There was just enough light to make out the tall, spiky-haired silhouette standing in the doorway.  
His low, husky voice sounded through the darkness.  
"C'mon. Just another day. Better to get it over with, my dude."

Dabi's scarred face was clearer to see now, as Midoriya was dragged down the dimly-lit corridor. His wrists were red raw from the handuffs behind his back. Though his regenerative healing prevented his hands from falling off altogether.

Dabi may have been handsome once. But parts of his face were heavily scarred. It appeared to be burnt several times over, the skin a frightening purple. What was most horrifying was the staples that lined the scars, from across his face, aligned with his mouth, down his neck, and also his arms.  
He had hair as black as pitch, and always wore a long black coat with silver embellishments.  
He didn't know what it was, the scars, the lines of his angular face, or his arcane personality, but Dabi somehow reminded Izuku of Todoroki.

Izuku had descended a spiralling flight of stairs, and had entered the torture chamber.  
Shigaraki was waiting for him, as per usual.

A spotlight illuminated the centre of the room, where a lone chair stood. Tables lined the room, exposing infernal mechanisms and devices of torture.  
A large rose window on one wall threatened to draw him in like a void. It's pattern like that of a procession of snails, unravelling for infinity. He could not see anything through it, and yet it seemed to gaze back at him.  
The walls and floor were stained with black. Dried blood from those who had gone before him.

Midoriya had read once, that at the time when religion reigned over many parts of the world, it was written that hell was cold.  
Midoriya wasn't a believer, but he could see where they were coming from.

He was pushed into the chair, and his ankles and waist were tied up. The spotlight blinded him from seeing the rest of the room.  
Shigaraki's light blue, shaggy hair hung loose around his face. He was a deranged criminal who took pleasure in putting Midoriya through trial after trial.  
Dabi, on the other hand, felt some sense of pity for Izuku.

Dabi placed a helmet on Midoriya's head. It was a device that scanned Izuku's brain. The information was then assessed. Something about Midoriya's brain was special, as he was told over and over again. He was their special boy. A one-eyed ghoul. One eye appeared normal. The other, the black and red mark of a ghoul.  
Even among ghouls, Midoriya would never fit in.

A loud scream pierced Midoriya's ears. It took him several moments to realise the screams were his.  
No matter how many times Shigaraki cut off Midoriya's toes, they always grew back. Yet another reminder that he wasn't human anymore.

"What's 1000 minus seven?" Shigaraki's voice was like sand against gravel.

Izuku spluttered. "Nine hundred and ninety three."

"Minus seven?"

"Nine hundred and eighty six."

And so it went on.

A flashback hit Midoriya like a train.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

He was on a mission with several pro-heroes, including Aizawa, Lady Midnight, Fat Gum, Mount Lady and Gran Torino, as well as class 1-A.

The students were to take out and arrest unruly ghouls from around the city.  
Midoriya was to accompany Gran Torino and Aizawa, to inspect a coffee shop, rumoured to be a hub for ghouls.

Todoroki, Bakugo, Uraraka and Tsuyu were also with him.

In full battle gear, they approached the coffee shop. It was surprisingly ordinary-looking and inviting. Midoriya didn't know what he expected, but this wasn't where he imagined cannibalistic superhumans went to gossip and drink coffee.  
He didn't think ghouls even drank coffee.  
A neon "open" sign greeted them from the window of the coffee shop.

"So..." Todoroki began. "Do we just, go in?"

"Looks like it," said Aizawa. "Be on guard. Obviously not everyone is going in at once. It will be just me. You all watch the outside. Ghouls could be hiding outside. Be careful."

And so, each of the students spread out, keeping watch from all angles. Midoriya was situated at the corner of the shop, facing a dark alleyway.

The strong scent of coffee was overwhelming. Izuku didn't really like coffee much, he was more of a tea drinker.  
Uraraka approached him, hopping down from the roof, landing gracefully on the ground.  
"No sign of ghouls," she said. "Honestly, I'm not sure we have the right place."

Izuku frowned. "Yeah, I don't know. Ghouls are hard to understand. I assume that they have feelings like we do. But even if that's the case, I doubt they feel much guilt when they feed. If they're smart, they'll be quiet about it, and not leave a mess. They haven't much of a choice, do they? But to feed on humans?"

"You're muttering again!" she remarked. She chuckled. "You've done your research."

To his embarrassment, Izuku blushed. "Uhh, yeah, I guess. I'm sorry if it annoys you. It's a bad habit of mine."

She shook her head. She put her hands up to cup his face.  
"It's not a bad habit." She assured him. "It's one of the things that's so special about you."

She began to walk down the alleyway. "From what I've heard, someone was taken by ghouls down here."

"Really?" He strode after her.  
She chuckled again. "Hmhm. Yep." When she turned around, her eyes were black, with glowing red irises.  
Izuku had no time to react, before she buried her face in his neck.  
Midoriya cried out as her teeth sank into his shoulder.  
Her hair had turned blonde. This wasn't Uraraka, but Toga Himiko, a dangerous, bloodthirsty ghoul.

Before he knew it, his friends were around him, wrenching her away from him.  
But more ghouls were coming, summoned by the uproar.

Soon there were hundreds of ghouls lining the streets. Two pro-heroes and a few teenage ones were heavily outnumbered.

Midoriya swayed on his feet, and Todoroki caught him before he fell.

"It's okay, Midoriya. I have you now." Todoroki assured him, though he couldn't hide the worry in his voice.  
Midoriya was bleeding heavily. Todoroki ripped off some fabric from the leg of Midoriya's suit, and held it against the wound, expertly wrapping the fabric around him.

  
A ghoul tore Todoroki away from him. They were locked in a fight. Midoriya cried out as as the ghoul slammed Todoroki against a wall. His left side erupted into flames. The ghoul shrieked and retreated. It's quinque emerged from his back like red tongues.

  
Midoriya felt like he was about to black out. He felt dizzy, and weak.  
He felt as if any moment, he was going to die.

Then Dabi was there, hauling him away. Midoriya was utterly helpless, as his friends were left, in a hopeless battle.  
Dabi raised his hand and blue flame burst from it.  
All at once, the fire was taking up the whole street. An impenetrable wall of flame. The fire was so blue it was almost white.

"You're coming with us now, kid. Trauma and dizzyness is completely normal. You'll come round when you get your first meal."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Hot blood filled Midoriya's mouth.  
Disgusting.  
But he yearned for it. A part of him wanted it so, so bad he couldn't breathe.  
He didn't know what it was, but he devoured it hungrily.  
 _What kind of monster have I become? I'm a ghoul. I am a flesh-eating ghoul._

He didn't know when he would leave this place. Maybe his friends would rescue him? And even if they did, would they accept him for who he was?

Izuku had spent fifteen years of his life quirkless. But this, this was worse. Far, far worse.  
And what's more, he couldn't use One for All anymore. It had abandoned him along with most of everything that made him human. That made him the a hero.  
And if One for All was gone, where did it go?

And why, as they all were saying, was he a one-eyed ghoul?

When Dabi returned him to his cell, he said something to him that he thought he would never hear.  
"I'll leave the door unlocked this time. Turn right, then right again, there's a window that's easy to get out of."  
He winked, and gave a very shocked Izuku a crooked smile. The staples on his skin glinted in the moonlight.

"What?! You're letting me esc-!"  
Dabi shoved his hand over Izuku's mouth.  
"Don't talk so loudly, you idiot. Get out of here. And tell your half-and-half friend his brother wishes to see him soon."

Midoriya was stunned. Dabi released Midoriya from his hand cuffs.

"Oh, and one more thing," said Dabi. "When your kagune shows up, don't be alarmed. It's a powerful weapon. A blessing for us ghouls. And they've told me yours is a powerful one."

Midoriya nodded. "Okay. Okay, thank you. I mean that."  
And for the first time in what felt like years, the cold night air blew through Midoriya's hair, and he smiled.


	2. Ghouls, Knives and Juuzou Suzuya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midoriya has escaped Shigaraki's wrath. On his way home, he meets a ghoul, and crosses paths with psychopathic Juuzou Suzuya, from Tokyo Ghoul.

The night cast a welcoming shadow over the streets. Nevertheless, it was far brighter than down in the dungeon from which Izuku had just escaped. The air was choked with city fumes, but to Midoriya, it was as pure and sweet as if he was breathing for the first time.   
He had escaped from an iron grid in the ground, which down below led to the short passage and a window. Locking the grid behind him firmly, he stood up and surveyed his surroundings.  
Behind him stood a building that may have once resembled a temple, but the passing years had taken their toll. It was surrounded by scaffolding, and weeds sprouted from cracks in it's walls.  
In the thickening gloom, Midoriya could make out the street ahead of him, passed an area of overgrowth.  
A whirring of mechanics and cogs turning caused Midoriya's heart to skip a beat. This was followed a deafening scream. It appeared to have come from somewhere inside the dishevelled structure behind him.

Midoriya didn't wait around long enough to investigate. He sprinted down the street, towards the city centre.  
For someone who had suffered excruciating pain for so long, he ran extremely fast, and the cool air sharpened his senses like a blade. Everything seemed heightened. The brightness of the lights from streetlamps and cars. The sounds of the city nightlife. People laughing, presumably inebriated. The peeved horns of vehicles reverberated through his whole body. The city hummed with life. Izuku had never felt so apart from it all. He felt so alien. Everything seemed to be yet another reminder that he wasn't human anymore. He felt as if he was watching through a veil, as distant from human life as the stars that shone above him.   
And he could _smell_ them. Rich, velvety blood beneath skin.  
It horrified him. To eat flesh was putrefaction. Or at least, it _should_ be.  
Izuku kept to the shadows, away from these people with real lives, just as complex as his own.  
His serendipity was very much conflicted with his inward desire to cut their throats. Those people had dreams to fulfill. And here he was regarding them the same way he once would have regarded a table laden with delicacies.  
Heavily disturbed by his cannibalistic tendencies, he bounded up walls and climbed drain pipes, until he had reached the refuge of the rooftops. He now at least had a clear view of where he was.

His own apartment block could be seen from here, rising up along with its counterparts.  
It wasn't much, but it was home.  
If he could still call it that.

Shadows darted across the rooftops from across the street. Ghouls blotting out the moon and concealing the stars.

Izuku prayed they didn't see him. He retreated, making his way towards his home. He hated to think of what his mother would regard him after his unforseen transition. He had so many fears. And All Might was another matter. To be chosen as the most powerful hero's successor, only to lose the power that was so miraculously gifted to him. What a disaster. And where was it gone? Could it be retrieved?  
Midoriya had never heard of quirks just disappearing. It went against nature.  
Energy could not be created or destroyed, but only changed from one form to another.

He descended down an alleyway, it's floors slick with city grime and filth. He noticed a black cat scurry behind a dumpster, a rat in it's mouth. The cat's radiant green eyes peered back at him, before wandering, satisfied with its catch, deeper into the shadows.  
That was when he noticed the footsteps softly drawing closer.  
He turned, to find a lone figure wrapped in a dark hooded jacket and mask following him. The sickening stench of blood wafted up Midoriya's nose. He could feel his left eye turning black as he was awakened with the power of incoming danger and the realisation of how hungry he was becoming. He didn't know which was scarier; the possibility of being killed, or killing someone.

He realised with a start that every nerve in his body craved the latter. To taste blood again.  
The slender figure let down her hood. She wore a mask which covered the top half of her face, save for the eyes, which glinted like black ice. The mask had cat ears, and whiskers embroidered on it. She was dressed head to toe in sleek black clothing.  
''What have we here?'' she said, her voice sweet and melodic.  
''You're awfully young to be out on your own. A little lost, are we?''

Midoriya backed away. She seemed surprised to see that Midoriya was a ghoul. And a one-eyed one at that.  
''One eye. I've never seen a one eyed ghoul before!'' She smiled, and her teeth were razor sharp and gleamed like knives.  
''You must belong to Shigaraki, up there in his little lab. Another experiment of his you are, I assume?"

Midoriya backed away slowly. His heart hammered in his chest.  
Her quinque exploded from her back. A breeze caught in her long, silky black hair. Her maniacal grin was that of a cat eyeing a mouse.

Midoriya had never felt so defenseless in a very long time.  
Usually One for All's power would easily be enough to handle this, or a friend would step in at just the right time. He had been so lucky, for so long.  
It was only a matter of time before it ran out.  
A slender figure with unruly locks of white hair sprang down in front of him. The ghoul shrieked in agony as her quinque was cleanly sliced off by Midoriya's rescuer.  
He could not have been much older than Midoriya himself. He held an impossible number of knives in his hands, which he expertly stabbed at the ghoul. Without her quinque, she was no match for the lanky kid's deadly array. The onslaught of blades tore threw the ghoul's flesh. With one clean sweep, her throat was slit.

''Gotcha! Better luck next time!'' The kid exclaimed with way too much lightheartedness deemed appropriate for the situation.  
Who was this kid?

He turned around to face Midoriya with a triumphant grin on his face.

''That was fun! And I didn't leave much of a mess this time!''

Midoriya blinked in bafflement, as he took in the character before him.

He had a shockingly pale countenance. All sharp edges and angles. Stitches could be seen along his lower lip, under his right eye, along his hands, and down his neck for as far as Midoriya could see before it met the collar of his once white, now bloodstained shirt. His matted hair was long for a guy, and the colour of quicksilver. His pants was too short for him, exposing his ankles, and was held up by peacock blue suspenders.

''Uhhh, thank you. I really shouldn't be here. I, it's better if I go. Thanks for the help!'' Izuku's voice wavered. This kid really creeped him out.

''Okay.'' He said happily. ''See you some other time then!''

Aware of his surroundings, Izuku soared up onto a ledge jutting out from a building, and proceeded to climb.  
"Wait!" said the sliver haired kid. "I never got your name!"

"You never asked!" Midoriya snapped.

"I know you from somewhere!" he went on. "One of those heroes, are you? From UA? I think I recognise the suit your wearing."

When Midoriya was on the roof, he turned back. The boy had saved him, so he guessed he at least owed him his name.  
"Izuku Midoriya," he replied. "At least, that's who I used to be."

"That's okay. I'm not who I used to be either."  
Something flickered across his face. Fear, or something else entirely, Izuku could not be sure.  
"But today, I go by Juuzou Suzuya." He brightened up. "It was nice having a bit of fun. That ghoul was a delight!"

Midoriya grew uncomfortable, though he did feel a sense of pity for him.  
"Well, I'll see you. Thanks again for saving me."

He turned, eager to get away before he ran into more ghouls. Juuzou Suzuya called from behind him.  
"I guess even heroes need saving sometimes," he seemed to say to no one in particular.  
In a heartbeat, Midoriya had fled. He darted across the city. His muscles were tense from being in a cell for a week, but over a year of hero training served him well. His opponant had back up forces, no doubt. His best bet was to get them off his tracks.

He was almost home. He climbed the balconies with stealth and surefootedness he didn't even know he possessed. (He didn't have the courage in him to face going up the stairs).  
And here he was. His balcony was, well, the same as always. It wasn't very big. Only ever big enough for a clothes horse, a chair and a few plants, at any one time.  
The curtains were pulled, and no light could be seen from inside.  
Izuku fetched the spare key from under a chipped plant pot.  
The sun was coming up. The sky was painted red. It looked beautiful.

Izuku looked down at himself. He was still wearing the same clothes he had on a week ago.  
His hero suit was in a sorry state, to say the least. And he was dirty, cold, and covered in blood.  
Taking a deep breath, he turned the key, and stepped inside.

"Mam! I'm home! It's Izuku!" he called out. The kitchen was dark and empty, to his dismay.

He called out some more. He made his way to the living room, his mother's room, the bathroom, and his own room. No one was home.  
This worried Izuku more than anything.  
In the hallway, Izuku paused when he caught sight of the monster in the mirror. That monster was him.  
He really looked devastating.  
His face had several cuts. He couldn't recall where he got them. His hair was knotted and sticky. And his eyes. His eyes were sad, as if he had lost all hope on the world. One of them was black, with a red iris.  
His suit was torn in several places. His gloveless hands were wretched, with burning red marks from the handcuffs.  
Ugh.  
Since he was home, he went and showered, and got changed into fresh clothes.  
It took him a long time to get the stickyness out of his hair.  
And it may take longer to get the sadness out of his eyes.  
Nevertheless, he felt better than he had in what seemed like ages.  
Looking in the medical cabinet, he made himself an eyepatch out of bandages and plasters.

Looking in the mirror again, he looked quite a little more like the old Izuku.  
On the counter, was a newspaper, and Midoriya was kicking himself as to why he didn't notice it sooner.  
The front page showed his picture, with the headline:  
 **Teen Hero Killed By Ghouls!**  
This was followed by a summary of what happened a week ago, a whole lot of insults against ghouls, UA, and details of Midoriya's funeral.

"Funeral," Midoriya thought aloud. "My funeral? Held at UA?"

He shook his head incredulously. "What the hell?"

He ran out of the door, down the stairs this time. "Looks like I'm late to my own funeral."

On his way to UA, he met the milkman, an old lady with her shopping, and a really annoyed cat.

None of them, thankfully, recognised him as the kid who got murdered a week ago.

Izuku bounded in the doors of the gym hall, as he was instructed to do so by the arrow signs that said, "Funeral."

All of class 1-A was there, as well as most of the teachers. His mother was there by the front, red-faced from crying. Aizawa was up at the podium, speaking. All Might was nowhere to be seen.  
"We have lost two very fine heroes. But today, we pay our tributes to Izuku Midoriya, a loving son, hero and friend." Aizawa was trying to keep it together, Midoriya could tell.  
 _Two heroes?_  
Uraraka sobbed. "I should have been there to save him!"  
Several people stepped in to assure her it was not her fault.

Todoroki's eyes were red. His face was wet with tears. "He was braver than us all. He saved so many of us. I will forever recall how I failed to save him."

"Let's try and focus on the times we had with him," suggested Iida. "We will always cherish them, won't we?"

Everyone was crying, even, to Midoriya's shock, Bakugo. The door closed behind him with a cringe-worthy loud _click_.  
Everyone turned to look at him.  
Midoriya's face grew hot. No doubt his face was very, very red.

They just stared. The moment dragged on, each second like an age. Aizawa stopped talking.  
No one moved. Everyone's jaw dropped. Bakugo's eyes were as wide as saucers.  
Midoriya paniced, and it was then, at that moment, when Midoriya's kagune made it's debut, exploding from his back like fiery wings.


End file.
